The How To Guide to off-road motorbiking: 
Take one day to learn how to ride a motorbike courtesy of Roto Rookies then head for Madagascar three weeks later.
Day One
Collect bike (Honda 250) and ride in rush hour traffic looking for a hotel for the night. Remember to stay on the opposite side of the road you're used to.
Ride around until it gets dark and don't make eye contact with gendarmes - look like you know what you're doing.
Find out you don't know how to hill start then practically wheelie up the hill out of control.
Stall the bike 20 times because you'e afraid you'll do the same on the next hill and hit a car or pedestrian.
Get rescued by @onegiantride who rides bike to top of hill.
Arrive at hotel wide eyed.
Eat.
Sleep.
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